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U nfortunately, there wi   often be no way to know if it was a scam.

They are just window shopping?

Many people who place profiles are just 'window shopping', with

no intention of actually meeting or replying to anyone. They do it

just out of curiosity. Next to impossible to spot.

I n general, try and not to take it personally if you don't get a

reply, chi n up and try someone el se.

The guy/girl factor?

Guys should be aware that the response rate to your emails can

often be very low, even down around the % mark, as women can

afford to be very choosy.

Girls on the other hand should be expecting a very high reply

rate, around the % rate; yes it can be that much of a difference!

So girls if you really I ike a guy and didn't get a response within a

week, do try again, and again.

BO

Getting to Know Your

Potential Date

Once you have made the initial contact with someone there are

several methods avail able to get to know them better.

Email

Email isthetraditional means of getting to know someone over the

I nternet. It's convenient, everyone has it, and it'scompatibleacross

any hardware and software platform.

Be sure to turn any HTM L option off. Sure you can do fancy

things with it, but not everyone likes it nor has the capability to

read it. Plain text is much simpler and smaller in file size. If you

don't know what HTML is then don't worry about it.

With email you can reply any time you like, from any machine

(if you have a web-based email account like Yahoo! or Hotmail),

and edit your text as much as you I i ke, so you can say exactly what

you want to say.

The only real disadvantage is that if you have a lot of email, it's

surprisingly easy to forget to reply and think that you never heard

from that person. They in turn won't think you are interested

anymore because you didn't reply, and that's the end of that!

Countless I nternet relationships have never gotten off theground

simply because someone forgot to reply. Don't let it happen to you.

Public Chat Rooms

Public chat rooms have been well and truly superseded by the

I nstant M essagi ng servi ces now avai I abl e U nl ess you met i n a chat

room and have no other means avail able then steer clear of public

chat rooms when getting to know someone. You won't be able to

chat in private, exchange numbers or organise a date without

everyone else knowing. Also, each person's attention is diverted by

what else is happening in the room; it's an unpleasant and

impersonal environment.

Instant messaging Services

and private chat rooms

Popul ar I nstant M essagi ng Servi ces i ncl ude I CQ, Yahoo! M essenger

and MSN Messenger. All ofthemletyouseewhenpeopleareonline,

send messages instantly, chat in real time in a private chat room

and do other things such as send files and even talk to each other.

You shouldn't haveanytroublefindingsomeoneelse with access

to at least one of these servi ces, and even if they don't you can send

them an automati c emai I tel I i ng them about how to j oi n the servi ce

step by step. All you need to know is their email address and the

system will do the rest. Note, however, that it's good to let them

know that you are going to do this. Some people don't appreciate

getting such requests to join a service. To find out how to invite

someonetojoin, visit the homepage of the particular service or look

i n the menu opti ons of the program.

If you have already set up an email account with Yahoo! or

H otmail then you will beableto use each one's particular messaging

service. J ust go to the homepage and download the program and

install it, it's fully automatic.

There is not much difference between the Yahoo! and MSN

Messenger services, so which one you use will depend on which

servi ce you are wi th and who the person you want to chat to i s wi th .

The smart Internet Dater will have both a Yahoo! and Hotmail

account and both services running, along with I CQ of course.

Basically it's advantageous to have accessto all three systems. It

doesn't cost you anything, so why not? I nstant messaging is the

quickest and most convenient way of getting to know someone

online, so by all means let the other person know you have this

Gettingto Know Your Potential Date

service and when you are usually online, even in your first email.

Phone

There are pros and cons of getti ng to know someone vi a the phone.

Many people like to 'talk first' before they meet. Typically it only

works if both parties are 'phone people' who love to talk on the

phone. M ore often than not one person won't be, and it can make

for an awkward conversation.

M any people(especi ally females) are not willi ngto give out their

phone number either as it blows the entire anonymity aspect.

By all means ask the other person for their number and if they

would I ike to chat, but if they hesitate then give it a miss. But feel

free to use the phone to say hello and arrange a date. Always

remember though to reserve your judgment until you meet them.

Face to Face

N othi ng beats meeti ng someone face to face. The ulti mate goal of

I nternet dating is to find someone, and the sooner you arrange a

face-to-face meeti ng the better.

You can only learn so much about someone via other mediums,

and some people would say that you can't learn anything about

someoneother than faceto face. From all of my experiences I would

have to agree.

I nternet dati ng i s ki nd of I i ke pi ayi ng the stock market. You can

be mi I es ahead on paper, but unti I you've actual ly sol d your shares,

it's all virtual and worthless. Likewise in I nternet dating, you can

have as many potential dates lined up as you like, but until you

actually meet them they are all virtual and can disappear at any

moment. And disappear they do. So one of the golden rules of

I nternet dating is to meet as soon as possible, don't wait thinking

that they will still be there next week.

The Date

This is what it's all about - THE DATE!

You've put all the time, effort and possibly money into I nternet

dating, now it's time to reap the rewards. First of all, congratulate

yourself on a job well done; I nternet dating has worked for you.

Whether or not that turns out to be good or bad will only be decided

after the date, but it has worked none the less.

You might have thought that it wasn't all that hard to get a date,

and it isn't if you have followed the advice, done the right things,

and throw in a bit of luck. But there are many people who have

been I nternet dating for years and not had one single face - to - face

meeting. Spare a second to thank them for being such bad

opposition, it increased your odds.

Blind Date

Dates arranged via the I nternet are essentially 'blind' dates, even

though you may have seen each other's photo, spoken on the phone

or even vi deo confer enced. There i s a reason for consi deri ng I nternet

dates as bl i nd dates - peoplealways turn out differently in real life

to what you had imagined.

If you don't believe it, then wait and see for yourself, it's almost

always the case. Obviously the moreyou have seen and heard about

the other person, the more chance there is of them turning out as

you had imagined. But if you have not seen a photo, then be ready

to expect anything. I t's not uncommon for a 'si i m' person to actual ly

weigh  lbs, and an 'attractive' person to be the most unattractive

person you have ever met. Add in unexpected bright hair colour,

The Date

body piercings, bizarre clothing choices and anything else you can

possi bly i magi ne, and your bl i nd datecan real ly turn out to betotal ly

different to what you i magi ned.

I f you have seen a few photos or maybe video confer enced, you

will usually get a good indication of what they are like. But there

are many things that can be hidden in photos, grainy video, and

phone calls, so still have an open mind.

N ot that I want to scareyou, there i s nothi ng to be scared of, j ust

be prepared. The vast maj ority of peopl e turn out to be surpri si ng

'average', even if they are different to what you imagined.

These surprises are often the most interesting and fun part of

I nternet dati ng. Sohavesomefun, have a laugh, and enjoy the ride.

Make the Time

When it comes to the date, it's important to maketi me availableto

meet them. If you want I nternet dating to work for you then you

must be flexible. Ifyouleadaverybusylifethenyoumustmakethe

decision as to what is more important to you, finding the love of

your life or finishing that report for work or visiting your friends.

There is no excuse for not being ableto spare at least half an hour

of your ti me to meet someone.

One of downsi des of tryi ng to arrange a bl i nd date with someone

you met on the I nternet, is that it's so easy to del ay and or cancel a

date. M any an I nternet f i rst date has never happened for the si mpl e

reason that the other person i s 'too busy'. M ake the ti me avai I abl e,

or seriously risk loosing the date. People won't wait around when

it's so easy to get another date online.

Spontaneous Dating

Some people want to meet right now, or forget it. Are you up for it?

This often happens in chat rooms early on a Friday or Saturday

night. Some people hop online to find a date for that night. This

can begreat fun, throwing all caution tothewind, nothi nking about

it, just get dressed and head on out to meet a complete stranger.

Why not give it a try?

Where Should You Go?

He/ she has agreed to meet you, now it'stimeto decide where. Don't

wait for them to suggest something, you should take the initiative

and suggest something yourself. Most people like it when other

peopl e take charge of si tuati ons such as thi s. Thi s i s especi al ly the

case with beginners.

Therearean infinitevarietyof optionsavailabletoyou, and some

are a lot better than others.

Familiar ground

If it'syouwhoissuggestingtheplacethenit'sagoodideatotryand

pi ck a familiar pi acethat you know and feel comfortablein. No point

feeling out of pi ace if you have a say in it. I twill also help you come

across better if you are relaxed and comfortable.

Now for some places in detail, in no particular order. In each

one we will discuss the basic advantages and disadvantages, and

provide a general overview. Obviously some things are not for

everyone, and everyone's idea of the perfect date will be different,

but hopefully these will giveyousomegoodideasto get you started.

The movies

The good old-fashioned movies.

Advantages

• I t's a rather i nti mate envi ronment.

• It (hopefully) gives you a I otto talk about after the movie.

• Can giveyou a good excuse to 'call it quitsfor the night' after

the movie. M ost people readily accept this.

Disadvantages

• Two hours watching a movie is two hours you aren't getting

to know that person.

• Being an intimate environment, it can be rather awkward.

Body language on a date at the movies is a big thing.

The Date

Overview

A pi ausi bl e opti on if you combi ne i t with di nner or somethi ng el se,

but not all that good on it's own. Great if you are both movies buffs,

you can talk about it all night long. Better suited to a second date

though.

Dinner

Dinner would have to be the # blind date destination.

Advantages

• I t's a 'safe' choi ce and i s general ly acceptabl e to most peopl e.

• You get a few hours to tal k to person face to face. Thi s al I ows

you to check them out up close.

• You have something to pi ay with (your food) if your dateisa

total bore.

Disadvantages

• There is always the inevitable argument over who pays.

• Good restaurants aren't cheap.

• Some people are very picky about their tastes. Suggest the

wrong restaurant and you could be written off beforeyou even get a

chance to meet.

Overview

Nobody has ever lost a date over suggesting dinner. A good safe

choice if you don't want to be too creative.

Avoid inviting them over to your place for dinner on the first

date. For girls, you are inviting a stranger into your house, and

proposing anything at your place can be suggestive in ways you

didn't intend. For guys, women will besuspicious of your intentions,

save it for the second date.

Picnic lunch

A nice picnic lunch in the park.

Advantages

• It's inexpensive.

• A picnic in the park can be very romantic, and it allows you to

get to know them i n an i nti mate envi ronment.

• It's above the ordinary.

Disadvantages

• Ants and rain at a picnic area pain.

• A 'qui ck I unch' can appear that you don't have ti me for them.

Overview

It's pretty hard to beat a nice picnic. Make this one of your top

choices and you can't go wrong.

Coffee

M eeti ng for coffee is one of the ti me-honoured traditions of bl i nd

dati ng.

Advantages

• The obvious advantage is that it's quick and convenient. It

can be all over and done in less than  minutes. Not much time

wasted if you don't hit it off.

• I t's safe because you are meeti ng i n a crowded public pi ace.

• I t's a socially acceptable blind date.

• Usual ly good enough to 'scope someone out'.

• It's inexpensive.

Disadvantages

• It's hard to get to know someone in the often - limited time

available. If someone suggests coffee then it usual lymeansthey only

want a brief meeting.

Overview

Itmightbeasociallyacceptablefirstdate, but lets face it, it'sboring.

Unless you really can't spare the ti me, try and choose something

The Date

more creative.

Day outing

A great way to real ly get to know someone i n depth on thef i rst date

is to spend the entire day with them. Beitabushwalk, boat cruise,

day at the races, long drive, joy flight, the list is endless.

Advantages

• Spendi ng the enti re day with someone shows them that you

are really genuine and are willing to give them a chance. Giving up

an entire day shows much more generosity than meeting for ten

minutes over coffee.

• You can really get to know them in depth.

•   improves your chance of 'clicking'. The moreyou talk about,

the more chance you have of finding things that you have in

common. People mostly remember the positives and not the

negatives.   mi ght only take one si mple remark and they are sold.

• For guys - girls generally like guys who communicate. The

more of it you do the better your chances.

Disadvantages

• I f either of you are stuck for things to do or talk about then

you'll be in for a really long day.

• A day i s a I ot of ti me for some peopl e to dedi cate to someone

they've never met before. It can mean losing half your weekend if

the person turned out to be a waste of time. Having this happen

often can put you off I nternet dating really quickly.

Overview

Obviously this has to be something that both of you agree on, enjoy

doing, and feel comfortable with. But if you have that in common

and a freeday to sparethen it's definitely a great way to go about it.

Night club

For many, oneofthetraditional placesto meet singles. Some people

make it their first date destination as well.

Advantages

• Well, at least it's a date?

• There are usually bouncers there that will prevent any trouble.

This might make you feel more at ease.

Disadvantages

• Turn your back for a second and your date will get hit on.

• The only things you will get to learn about your date are how

wel I they can dance, and how many dri nks they can consume. You

certainly won't be ableto hold an intelligent conversation with them

on the dance floor or barstool.

• Good I uck tryi ng to fi nd them agai n if you I osethem i n thecrowd.

• Guys, you won't be able to not look at the other women in their

low-cut skin-tight dressed-to-kill outfits (admit it!) and your date

won't be i mpressed. Women have eyes i n the back of thei r head.

Overview

Avoid the night club at all costs, unless it's the only thing you both

enjoy doing.

A SHOW

A show could be a concert, musical, stand-up comedy, play, etc.

Advantages

• It's extravagant, which can impress.

•   gives you and your date an excuse to dress up.

• I t's a good way to use a spare ti cket if you have one.

Disadvantages

• It can be expensive.

• You can't tal k and get to know each other duri ng the show.

• I t's a fixed date. N ot good if someone has to cancel .

The Date

Overview

Thi s i s a great idea if you have a spare ti cket. Shows are expensi ve,

and your date may not want to spend so much on a blind date. So

don't suggest it unless you are willing to pay for the other person,

or you know they want to go and pay for themselves.

Make sure you combine it with dinner or drinks afterwards.

Better suited to a subsequent date.

Sports activity

A sports activity could be anything from a workout at the gym to

water skiing.

Advantages

• If it's something you both enjoy then you will have something

to talk about all day.

It's different.

Disadvantages

• You dress to the occasion. This may mean that you are not

being seen at your physical best.

Overview

Only suggest this if you are both really passionate about that

particular past time. Better suited to a subsequent date.

Adventure

Adventure might involve taking someone flying, skydiving,

canyoning, abseiling, rock climbing, or some other adventurous

activity.

Advantages

• M any peopl e wi   rel i sh a new chal I enge

• Some adventure sports can get real cosy.

• It's totally different. You'll earn big bonus points over the

competition that just take them to dinner.

• You'll have plenty to talk about and plenty of time to do it.

Disadvantages

• If you don't knowtheotherperson'scapabilities,thingsmight

get difficult.

• It usually requires the best part of a day, which limits it to

basically weekends when most people may have other plans.

Overview

A great option if you have the ti me and inclination. Usually more

suited to a subsequent date.

Internet organised social events

I nternet organised social events have been mentioned before as a

possible pi ace to meet people. Well it's also a pi ace you can arrange

to meet someone for a f i rst date.

Advantages

• It provides a relatively safe environment to meet.

• I t's a good excuse to bri ng a f ri end al ong f or support.

• If it doesn't work out there are plenty of other single people

to meet that night.

Disadvantages

• It does look rather tacky, inviting a blind date to a singles

function. They will most likely think that you aren't all that serious

about getting to know them, and that you are looking for an easy

way out should things not work out.

• I t's crowded and next to impossible to talk quietly and get to

know them.

• Your date will be hit on, guaranteed, and you risk losing out

to someone they think is better.

Overview

Don't suggest this unless the other person insists on it themselves.

The Date

ROMANTIC INTERLUDE

Here, we are talking about the candlelit dinner on a beach under

the stars that you see i n the movi es.

Advantages

• Somewomen might betaken by it. Pull it off successfully and

you could be on a winner.

Disadvantages

• It's not a done thing on a first date. There is serious risk of

looking silly.

• Most guys have no idea how to pull something I ikethis off, so

unless you have the experience, don't attempt it.

• It usually requires a lot of planning and preparation.

Remember it isa blind date; you could be wasti ng your ti me.

Overview

Avoid at all costs, unless you know (not just think) that the other

person wi   be i mpressed. Save it for your fi rst anniversary.

The greeting

The fi rst moment you meet can be rather awkward. Do you shake

hands, hug, kiss, or just stand several metres apart with hands in

pockets and give a polite nod and grunt? Don't laugh, it happens!

There are some basi c rul es:

• The most common bl i nd date greeti ngs are the peck on the

cheek and the handshake.

• H ugs are usual ly reserved for someone you have had quite a

deal of communication with and know quite well. A simple, "Hi,

lets meet. "Email i s usually not a huggable event. Still, some people

are just the 'huggy' kind.

• You can't go wrong with the handshake. I f they turn it i nto a

hug or kiss then well and good. It's the safest option.

ACING THE GREETING

The greeting can often make or break the date. You only get one

shot at the f i rst i mpressi on, so make it count.

The key to aci ng the greeti ng is to smile   puts people at ease

and shows that you are friendly, and more importantly, not

disappointed in your date. Showing excitement is another key. If

you look and act excited, odds areit will rub off on theother person.

Whatever you do, resist the temptation to check them out from

head to toe, it makes most people feel uneasy.

DOING THE RUNNER

It's not uncommon for someone to turn up for an I nternet date,

hi de i n the bushes to scope out their potenti al date, take one I ook

and exit stage left. Obviously no one I ikes to be stood up, and this is

certainly considered a rude thing to do.

Everyone gets nervous with blind dating at some point, soifyou

feel the urge to back out, j ust let your date know before hand, they

will understand. Don't show up and then do a runner. If you goto

the trouble of showing up, then go through with it, you owe it to

yourself and the other person.

If the person you meet with doesn't quite fit your expectations,

do try and see the date out and see how it goes. You never know,

you mi ght be pi easantly surpri sed and end up meeti ng a great f ri end

or maybe more. Some of the best dates I have had from the I nternet

have been with people that I would never have pictured myself

meeting if I knew what they looked like. Give everyone a chance.

Safety for girls

Whi I e I nternet dati ng i s one of the safest ways of meeti ng peopl e i n

today's society, many women are naturally apprehensive when it

comes to meeti ng a bl i nd date.   can never hurt to be over cauti ous,

and there are many safety precautions you can take to make you

feel more at ease.

Generally, just follow your instincts, use common sense and you'll

be fi ne I nternet dati ng i s fun and safe, rel ax and have a good ti me.

The Date

Onceyou'vedoneitonceyou will wonder what al I thefuss was about.

H ere are a few ti ps only for those that thi nk they need them:

Choosing a safe meeting place

Everyone knows that it's safer to meet a stranger in a public place.

The benef i ts are obvi ous. There are pi enty of peopl e around to hel p

you, and one simple shout of hel pis all it usually takes. People are

alsolesslikelytomakeasceneinapublicplace. Sometypical places

include restaurants, cafes and bars.

GET AND LEAVE DETAILS

I f you feel the need, by al I means ask the guy to send you proof of

who he is. For instance, ask him to scan in a copy of his driver's

license and email it to you. Any genuine guy that wants a date is not

goingtosayno. Leave thesedetai Is with someone, along with where

you are goi ng and what ti me you are expected back.

MEET, DON'T GET PICKED UP

The less personal details your date knows about you the safer you

will be. I f they don't know where you I ivethen they can't find you. If

they don't know your number then they can't harass you on the

phone. I f they offer to pi ck you up, then politely decl i ne and meet

them at the desti nati on . Thi s i s a popul ar opti on for most f emal es.

Contingency plans

You should not have to sit through the 'date from heir. If during

thedateyou find the other person unpleasant and/ or unbearable,

then by all means leave using whatever means possible. Preferably

by stealth, to avoid any confrontation.

If for instance you are at a restaurant, excuse yourself to the

bathroom and ask the waiter for the nearest discreet exit. Don't

j ust I eave them hangi ng though, ask the waiter to i nf orm them you

"had to go."

Getting a stand-In

Some people get so nervous at the prospect of meeting someone

that they actually get a friend to stand in for them. You can get

away with it if they haven't seen your photo, and if your friend is

roughly (or exactly?) what you had described yourself as.

Not much point doing thisthough, your date won't be impressed

and you risk losing an opportunity. Not to mention that your friend

and your date could hit it off instead!

Bringing a friend

M any women feel the need to bri ng a f ri end al ong on the date for

moral support and safety. If you choose this option then besureto

inform your date; don't just turn up friend in tow. The idea of a

date is for the two of you to get to know each other, not for your

date to get to know both you and your friend. This doesn't impress

most guys, so do it only if you have to.

The fake phone call

A great way to make you feel safe i s to get a f ri end to cal I you at a

predetermi ned ti me, say  mi nutes i nto your expectant date. Thi s

way you will have a ready excuse (sick grandmother or whatever) if

you need to get out of there. Ensure that you have some form of

coded signalling phrases arranged with your friend so that it's not

obvious what is happening. For example: "Ok, yeah I 'II do that first

thing M onday," might indicatethat everything isfine, then you can

j ust say it was work cal I i ng you.

If you are getting along great with your date, then by all means

tell them all about the fake cal I and you can both have a great laugh

about it. Thi scan bean excellent icebreaker if things are going a bit

slowly.

General Dating Tips

H ere are some general dati ng ti ps that can make or break a bl i nd

date, or any date for that matter:

• Don't be I ate.

The Date

• Don't talk about ex-partners. Feel free to share and laugh about

I nternet dating stories to lighten the mood if you like, but don't

mention ex-boy/ girlfriends unless theother person brings it up. In

which case don't linger on it.

• Keep good eye contact.

• Smell good. This is absolutely essential, body odour will kill any

date within a  m radius.

• Dress for success, be it a black-tie dinner, coffee, gym workout

or a bush walk. Don't save your best outfit for tomorrows date,

today's date coul d be the one.

• Dress to the occasion. A thousand dollar suit and tie is a little

over the top for the movies, and shorts and sandals don't cut it for

dinner.

• Fill up with petrol before you leave. You don't want to have to

stop to fill up when you arewith your date, it can ruin the mood. It

can al so make you I ate and I eave you smel I i ng I i ke a petrol pump.

• M ake sure your car and/ or apartment are clean inside and out if

yourdatewill seethem. Bonus points are on offer here, noonelikes

a slob.

• M akesureyou know how to get to the date venue and your dates

pi ace if needed, and know whereto park. Allow an extra  minutes

for every  minutes anticipated travel time. Being early is better

than bei ng late.

• M akesureyou have your date's mobile number if you have one,

and that they have yours.

• Carry plenty of cash.

• Do your homework. Read up on your date before you meet, and

by al I means take a copy of thei r prof i I e or emai I s i n your pocket for

a last minute read. This way, instead of talking about yourself or

being stuck talking about the weather you can ask more about

certain things that they have mentioned before. This always

i mpresses.

• End the date before they do. It can get awkward towards the

end, and your date might start getting nervous about what your

intentions are.

• Be polite and seethe date out with a smile, even if your date is

not what you expected. Although thetwoof you may not have hit it

off, they may have f ri ends who they can i ntroduce you to.

Guy Specific Tips:

• Getting a female opinion on clothes and cologne can be of great

benefit.

• By and large, most women are still impressed by a chivalrous

male.

• Don't talk about yourself unless she asks, women are not at all

impressed by guys that tal k endlessly about themselves.

• Don't try and impress her with a fancy car or flashing money

around. They rank very low on a woman's wish list.

• Be articulate and speak clearly.

• Get there before she does, and never keep a lady waiting.

• Always smile, girls like it, and it helps them to feel comfortable

with you.

• Whatever you do, resist the temptation to look at anything but

her face.

Girl specific tips:

• M ost guysfi nd bei ng 'fashi onably I ate' downri ght annoyi ng, even

if we do smile and say 'no problem'.

• Don't play 'hard to get', it puts the guy in two minds and makes

him go elsewhere. All but the most persistent and confident male

will give up long before a girl stops playing games.

• Ifyoulikeaguythenshowit. Don'tthrowyourselfat him (unless

you want to! ) but show i nterest by smi I i ng, f I i rti ng a bi t, or accepti ng

another date. It has to be obvious for him to get the point. Most

guys have no idea how to read women, and they don't even try.

• Let him be a gentleman, and give him ample time to offer to pay.

Some guys really like being chivalrous, it's not completely dead.

After Date Etiquette

Over the years, some basic after date etiquette rules have evolved.

They are general ly accepted, but are by no means defi nitive.

If You Didn't Like Them

Email provides an easy way to let the person know that you are not

interested. If you are not interested in seeing them again then it's

considered good etiquette to email them and say, "thanks but no

thanks." A simple, "It was nice to meet you, but I don't think we

are compatible. I wish you all the best," email takes no effort and

will not leave the other person hanging.

Remember that the other person may have I iked you, and might

be looking forward to hearing from you. It's impossible to gauge

what the other person thinks of you, so don't leave them hanging,

it's not nice.

You Liked Them and Want Another Date

If you liked the person then don't wait for them to contact you.

Contact them f i rst and I et them know you are i nterested and woul d

liketo see them again. Don't waste any time either, do it as soon as

possible. They could have another date lined up for tomorrow, or

even that very day, you should get the word i n fi rst to i mproveyour

chances.

They can only turn you down, and it's better to know than to be

left waiting for them to contact you. Girls, this means you too. If

you liketheguythentaketheinitiativeand let him know, he will be

flattered.

ASKING THEM OUT AGAIN BY EMAIL

Once you have met someone in real life, email instantly becomes a

bit impersonal for further communication. Obviously if email isthe

only contact details you have then that's your only choice. But if

you have their phone number then by all means use it.

Send an SMS message

Most people will have a mobile phone these days, and if you have

their number then an SM S message is a great way to thank them

for the date or to ask them out again. It's a hip thing to do, and it's

morepersonal than email. If you really want to surprise them, then

send an SM S message a few minutes after you have parted company.

They will be pleasantly surprised, and it will earn you big bonus

points.

I f you don't have a mobi I e phone yourself, then there are many

ways to send an SMS message vi a the Internet. ICQ has this facility,

and most mobi I e phone servi ce provi ders havethef aci I i ty avai I abl e.

Check out their websites or ask around the chat rooms or

newsgroups. Some services are completely free, others will charge

you a fee.

Phone

They would not have given you their number if they didn't want

youtouseit right? So if you haveit, givethemacall.

The phone is the most personal way of asking out someoneagain.

It does, however, have a couple of disadvantages. The first is that

they will not be expecting your call; this puts all the pressure on

them. I f they area 'phone' person then this isn't usually a problem,

they will love to get your call. But not all people are comfortable

talking on the phone, let alone talking about a second date. In this

instance, an SMS message or email will make it easier for them,

and give them time to respond.

Virtual flowers

Sending Virtual Flowers' or a greeting card is a novel (although

After Date Etiquette

someti mes overused) way of saying thanks and letting them know

that you I ike them.

There are many online greeting card and virtual flower site on

the I nternet, use them to your advantage.

Stay clear of the ones that generate an executable .EXE file,

which you then attach to an email. Many people are reluctant to

open email attachments for fear of virus infection, and rightly so.

Most greeting card sites today send an email message to the

recipient with a link that points to their greeting card online, these

are the best option.

You can get almost any kind of greeting card you can think of,

just makesureyou don't pick one that's too corny. Virtual hugs are

a good choice.

Another way to do this is to email them with your own poem or

whatever, and a picture attached. It's a good idea to search the

I nternet for a nice J PG photo of some roses, teddy or whatever,

and then save it locally so you can send it any time you need too.

Guys, take note.

What if You Don't Get a response?

I f you emai I them aski ng for another date and you don't hear back

from them, then it usually means that they are not interested. By

al I means, try emai I i ng agai n, or maybe sendi ng an SM S message.

But if you still don't hear back from them after that, let it be and get

back online to find another date.

The Probing Email

If you aren't the kind of person that likes to say things upfront,

then by all means try sending a 'probing' email to gauge their

interest. This involves sending a subtly worded emai I alongthelines

of, "It was nice to meet you, I hope we can do it again sometime."

I f they respond i n the affi rmati ve then it's a good i ndi cati on that

they are i nterested in a second date. But, of course, you will still

have to ask them out again, as it's unlikely that they will. The only

danger of this is that the other person can get the impression that

you are not interested, and that you are just too scared to turn

them down.

This is not the best after date etiquette, try and learn to be

upfront, you will get a much better response.