U nfortunately, there wi often be no way to know if it was a scam.
They are just window shopping?
Many people who place profiles are just 'window shopping', with
no intention of actually meeting or replying to anyone. They do it
just out of curiosity. Next to impossible to spot.
I n general, try and not to take it personally if you don't get a
reply, chi n up and try someone el se.
The guy/girl factor?
Guys should be aware that the response rate to your emails can
often be very low, even down around the % mark, as women can
afford to be very choosy.
Girls on the other hand should be expecting a very high reply
rate, around the % rate; yes it can be that much of a difference!
So girls if you really I ike a guy and didn't get a response within a
week, do try again, and again.
BO
Getting to Know Your
Potential Date
Once you have made the initial contact with someone there are
several methods avail able to get to know them better.
Email isthetraditional means of getting to know someone over the
I nternet. It's convenient, everyone has it, and it'scompatibleacross
any hardware and software platform.
Be sure to turn any HTM L option off. Sure you can do fancy
things with it, but not everyone likes it nor has the capability to
read it. Plain text is much simpler and smaller in file size. If you
don't know what HTML is then don't worry about it.
With email you can reply any time you like, from any machine
(if you have a web-based email account like Yahoo! or Hotmail),
and edit your text as much as you I i ke, so you can say exactly what
you want to say.
The only real disadvantage is that if you have a lot of email, it's
surprisingly easy to forget to reply and think that you never heard
from that person. They in turn won't think you are interested
anymore because you didn't reply, and that's the end of that!
Countless I nternet relationships have never gotten off theground
simply because someone forgot to reply. Don't let it happen to you.
Public Chat Rooms
Public chat rooms have been well and truly superseded by the
I nstant M essagi ng servi ces now avai I abl e U nl ess you met i n a chat
room and have no other means avail able then steer clear of public
chat rooms when getting to know someone. You won't be able to
chat in private, exchange numbers or organise a date without
everyone else knowing. Also, each person's attention is diverted by
what else is happening in the room; it's an unpleasant and
impersonal environment.
Instant messaging Services
and private chat rooms
Popul ar I nstant M essagi ng Servi ces i ncl ude I CQ, Yahoo! M essenger
and MSN Messenger. All ofthemletyouseewhenpeopleareonline,
send messages instantly, chat in real time in a private chat room
and do other things such as send files and even talk to each other.
You shouldn't haveanytroublefindingsomeoneelse with access
to at least one of these servi ces, and even if they don't you can send
them an automati c emai I tel I i ng them about how to j oi n the servi ce
step by step. All you need to know is their email address and the
system will do the rest. Note, however, that it's good to let them
know that you are going to do this. Some people don't appreciate
getting such requests to join a service. To find out how to invite
someonetojoin, visit the homepage of the particular service or look
i n the menu opti ons of the program.
If you have already set up an email account with Yahoo! or
H otmail then you will beableto use each one's particular messaging
service. J ust go to the homepage and download the program and
install it, it's fully automatic.
There is not much difference between the Yahoo! and MSN
Messenger services, so which one you use will depend on which
servi ce you are wi th and who the person you want to chat to i s wi th .
The smart Internet Dater will have both a Yahoo! and Hotmail
account and both services running, along with I CQ of course.
Basically it's advantageous to have accessto all three systems. It
doesn't cost you anything, so why not? I nstant messaging is the
quickest and most convenient way of getting to know someone
online, so by all means let the other person know you have this
Gettingto Know Your Potential Date
service and when you are usually online, even in your first email.
Phone
There are pros and cons of getti ng to know someone vi a the phone.
Many people like to 'talk first' before they meet. Typically it only
works if both parties are 'phone people' who love to talk on the
phone. M ore often than not one person won't be, and it can make
for an awkward conversation.
M any people(especi ally females) are not willi ngto give out their
phone number either as it blows the entire anonymity aspect.
By all means ask the other person for their number and if they
would I ike to chat, but if they hesitate then give it a miss. But feel
free to use the phone to say hello and arrange a date. Always
remember though to reserve your judgment until you meet them.
Face to Face
N othi ng beats meeti ng someone face to face. The ulti mate goal of
I nternet dating is to find someone, and the sooner you arrange a
face-to-face meeti ng the better.
You can only learn so much about someone via other mediums,
and some people would say that you can't learn anything about
someoneother than faceto face. From all of my experiences I would
have to agree.
I nternet dati ng i s ki nd of I i ke pi ayi ng the stock market. You can
be mi I es ahead on paper, but unti I you've actual ly sol d your shares,
it's all virtual and worthless. Likewise in I nternet dating, you can
have as many potential dates lined up as you like, but until you
actually meet them they are all virtual and can disappear at any
moment. And disappear they do. So one of the golden rules of
I nternet dating is to meet as soon as possible, don't wait thinking
that they will still be there next week.
The Date
This is what it's all about - THE DATE!
You've put all the time, effort and possibly money into I nternet
dating, now it's time to reap the rewards. First of all, congratulate
yourself on a job well done; I nternet dating has worked for you.
Whether or not that turns out to be good or bad will only be decided
after the date, but it has worked none the less.
You might have thought that it wasn't all that hard to get a date,
and it isn't if you have followed the advice, done the right things,
and throw in a bit of luck. But there are many people who have
been I nternet dating for years and not had one single face - to - face
meeting. Spare a second to thank them for being such bad
opposition, it increased your odds.
Blind Date
Dates arranged via the I nternet are essentially 'blind' dates, even
though you may have seen each other's photo, spoken on the phone
or even vi deo confer enced. There i s a reason for consi deri ng I nternet
dates as bl i nd dates - peoplealways turn out differently in real life
to what you had imagined.
If you don't believe it, then wait and see for yourself, it's almost
always the case. Obviously the moreyou have seen and heard about
the other person, the more chance there is of them turning out as
you had imagined. But if you have not seen a photo, then be ready
to expect anything. I t's not uncommon for a 'si i m' person to actual ly
weigh lbs, and an 'attractive' person to be the most unattractive
person you have ever met. Add in unexpected bright hair colour,
The Date
body piercings, bizarre clothing choices and anything else you can
possi bly i magi ne, and your bl i nd datecan real ly turn out to betotal ly
different to what you i magi ned.
I f you have seen a few photos or maybe video confer enced, you
will usually get a good indication of what they are like. But there
are many things that can be hidden in photos, grainy video, and
phone calls, so still have an open mind.
N ot that I want to scareyou, there i s nothi ng to be scared of, j ust
be prepared. The vast maj ority of peopl e turn out to be surpri si ng
'average', even if they are different to what you imagined.
These surprises are often the most interesting and fun part of
I nternet dati ng. Sohavesomefun, have a laugh, and enjoy the ride.
Make the Time
When it comes to the date, it's important to maketi me availableto
meet them. If you want I nternet dating to work for you then you
must be flexible. Ifyouleadaverybusylifethenyoumustmakethe
decision as to what is more important to you, finding the love of
your life or finishing that report for work or visiting your friends.
There is no excuse for not being ableto spare at least half an hour
of your ti me to meet someone.
One of downsi des of tryi ng to arrange a bl i nd date with someone
you met on the I nternet, is that it's so easy to del ay and or cancel a
date. M any an I nternet f i rst date has never happened for the si mpl e
reason that the other person i s 'too busy'. M ake the ti me avai I abl e,
or seriously risk loosing the date. People won't wait around when
it's so easy to get another date online.
Spontaneous Dating
Some people want to meet right now, or forget it. Are you up for it?
This often happens in chat rooms early on a Friday or Saturday
night. Some people hop online to find a date for that night. This
can begreat fun, throwing all caution tothewind, nothi nking about
it, just get dressed and head on out to meet a complete stranger.
Why not give it a try?
Where Should You Go?
He/ she has agreed to meet you, now it'stimeto decide where. Don't
wait for them to suggest something, you should take the initiative
and suggest something yourself. Most people like it when other
peopl e take charge of si tuati ons such as thi s. Thi s i s especi al ly the
case with beginners.
Therearean infinitevarietyof optionsavailabletoyou, and some
are a lot better than others.
Familiar ground
If it'syouwhoissuggestingtheplacethenit'sagoodideatotryand
pi ck a familiar pi acethat you know and feel comfortablein. No point
feeling out of pi ace if you have a say in it. I twill also help you come
across better if you are relaxed and comfortable.
Now for some places in detail, in no particular order. In each
one we will discuss the basic advantages and disadvantages, and
provide a general overview. Obviously some things are not for
everyone, and everyone's idea of the perfect date will be different,
but hopefully these will giveyousomegoodideasto get you started.
The movies
The good old-fashioned movies.
Advantages
• I t's a rather i nti mate envi ronment.
• It (hopefully) gives you a I otto talk about after the movie.
• Can giveyou a good excuse to 'call it quitsfor the night' after
the movie. M ost people readily accept this.
Disadvantages
• Two hours watching a movie is two hours you aren't getting
to know that person.
• Being an intimate environment, it can be rather awkward.
Body language on a date at the movies is a big thing.
The Date
Overview
A pi ausi bl e opti on if you combi ne i t with di nner or somethi ng el se,
but not all that good on it's own. Great if you are both movies buffs,
you can talk about it all night long. Better suited to a second date
though.
Dinner
Dinner would have to be the # blind date destination.
Advantages
• I t's a 'safe' choi ce and i s general ly acceptabl e to most peopl e.
• You get a few hours to tal k to person face to face. Thi s al I ows
you to check them out up close.
• You have something to pi ay with (your food) if your dateisa
total bore.
Disadvantages
• There is always the inevitable argument over who pays.
• Good restaurants aren't cheap.
• Some people are very picky about their tastes. Suggest the
wrong restaurant and you could be written off beforeyou even get a
chance to meet.
Overview
Nobody has ever lost a date over suggesting dinner. A good safe
choice if you don't want to be too creative.
Avoid inviting them over to your place for dinner on the first
date. For girls, you are inviting a stranger into your house, and
proposing anything at your place can be suggestive in ways you
didn't intend. For guys, women will besuspicious of your intentions,
save it for the second date.
Picnic lunch
A nice picnic lunch in the park.
Advantages
• It's inexpensive.
• A picnic in the park can be very romantic, and it allows you to
get to know them i n an i nti mate envi ronment.
• It's above the ordinary.
Disadvantages
• Ants and rain at a picnic area pain.
• A 'qui ck I unch' can appear that you don't have ti me for them.
Overview
It's pretty hard to beat a nice picnic. Make this one of your top
choices and you can't go wrong.
Coffee
M eeti ng for coffee is one of the ti me-honoured traditions of bl i nd
dati ng.
Advantages
• The obvious advantage is that it's quick and convenient. It
can be all over and done in less than minutes. Not much time
wasted if you don't hit it off.
• I t's safe because you are meeti ng i n a crowded public pi ace.
• I t's a socially acceptable blind date.
• Usual ly good enough to 'scope someone out'.
• It's inexpensive.
Disadvantages
• It's hard to get to know someone in the often - limited time
available. If someone suggests coffee then it usual lymeansthey only
want a brief meeting.
Overview
Itmightbeasociallyacceptablefirstdate, but lets face it, it'sboring.
Unless you really can't spare the ti me, try and choose something
The Date
more creative.
Day outing
A great way to real ly get to know someone i n depth on thef i rst date
is to spend the entire day with them. Beitabushwalk, boat cruise,
day at the races, long drive, joy flight, the list is endless.
Advantages
• Spendi ng the enti re day with someone shows them that you
are really genuine and are willing to give them a chance. Giving up
an entire day shows much more generosity than meeting for ten
minutes over coffee.
• You can really get to know them in depth.
• improves your chance of 'clicking'. The moreyou talk about,
the more chance you have of finding things that you have in
common. People mostly remember the positives and not the
negatives. mi ght only take one si mple remark and they are sold.
• For guys - girls generally like guys who communicate. The
more of it you do the better your chances.
Disadvantages
• I f either of you are stuck for things to do or talk about then
you'll be in for a really long day.
• A day i s a I ot of ti me for some peopl e to dedi cate to someone
they've never met before. It can mean losing half your weekend if
the person turned out to be a waste of time. Having this happen
often can put you off I nternet dating really quickly.
Overview
Obviously this has to be something that both of you agree on, enjoy
doing, and feel comfortable with. But if you have that in common
and a freeday to sparethen it's definitely a great way to go about it.
Night club
For many, oneofthetraditional placesto meet singles. Some people
make it their first date destination as well.
Advantages
• Well, at least it's a date?
• There are usually bouncers there that will prevent any trouble.
This might make you feel more at ease.
Disadvantages
• Turn your back for a second and your date will get hit on.
• The only things you will get to learn about your date are how
wel I they can dance, and how many dri nks they can consume. You
certainly won't be ableto hold an intelligent conversation with them
on the dance floor or barstool.
• Good I uck tryi ng to fi nd them agai n if you I osethem i n thecrowd.
• Guys, you won't be able to not look at the other women in their
low-cut skin-tight dressed-to-kill outfits (admit it!) and your date
won't be i mpressed. Women have eyes i n the back of thei r head.
Overview
Avoid the night club at all costs, unless it's the only thing you both
enjoy doing.
A SHOW
A show could be a concert, musical, stand-up comedy, play, etc.
Advantages
• It's extravagant, which can impress.
• gives you and your date an excuse to dress up.
• I t's a good way to use a spare ti cket if you have one.
Disadvantages
• It can be expensive.
• You can't tal k and get to know each other duri ng the show.
• I t's a fixed date. N ot good if someone has to cancel .
The Date
Overview
Thi s i s a great idea if you have a spare ti cket. Shows are expensi ve,
and your date may not want to spend so much on a blind date. So
don't suggest it unless you are willing to pay for the other person,
or you know they want to go and pay for themselves.
Make sure you combine it with dinner or drinks afterwards.
Better suited to a subsequent date.
Sports activity
A sports activity could be anything from a workout at the gym to
water skiing.
Advantages
• If it's something you both enjoy then you will have something
to talk about all day.
It's different.
Disadvantages
• You dress to the occasion. This may mean that you are not
being seen at your physical best.
Overview
Only suggest this if you are both really passionate about that
particular past time. Better suited to a subsequent date.
Adventure
Adventure might involve taking someone flying, skydiving,
canyoning, abseiling, rock climbing, or some other adventurous
activity.
Advantages
• M any peopl e wi rel i sh a new chal I enge
• Some adventure sports can get real cosy.
• It's totally different. You'll earn big bonus points over the
competition that just take them to dinner.
• You'll have plenty to talk about and plenty of time to do it.
Disadvantages
• If you don't knowtheotherperson'scapabilities,thingsmight
get difficult.
• It usually requires the best part of a day, which limits it to
basically weekends when most people may have other plans.
Overview
A great option if you have the ti me and inclination. Usually more
suited to a subsequent date.
Internet organised social events
I nternet organised social events have been mentioned before as a
possible pi ace to meet people. Well it's also a pi ace you can arrange
to meet someone for a f i rst date.
Advantages
• It provides a relatively safe environment to meet.
• I t's a good excuse to bri ng a f ri end al ong f or support.
• If it doesn't work out there are plenty of other single people
to meet that night.
Disadvantages
• It does look rather tacky, inviting a blind date to a singles
function. They will most likely think that you aren't all that serious
about getting to know them, and that you are looking for an easy
way out should things not work out.
• I t's crowded and next to impossible to talk quietly and get to
know them.
• Your date will be hit on, guaranteed, and you risk losing out
to someone they think is better.
Overview
Don't suggest this unless the other person insists on it themselves.
The Date
ROMANTIC INTERLUDE
Here, we are talking about the candlelit dinner on a beach under
the stars that you see i n the movi es.
Advantages
• Somewomen might betaken by it. Pull it off successfully and
you could be on a winner.
Disadvantages
• It's not a done thing on a first date. There is serious risk of
looking silly.
• Most guys have no idea how to pull something I ikethis off, so
unless you have the experience, don't attempt it.
• It usually requires a lot of planning and preparation.
Remember it isa blind date; you could be wasti ng your ti me.
Overview
Avoid at all costs, unless you know (not just think) that the other
person wi be i mpressed. Save it for your fi rst anniversary.
The greeting
The fi rst moment you meet can be rather awkward. Do you shake
hands, hug, kiss, or just stand several metres apart with hands in
pockets and give a polite nod and grunt? Don't laugh, it happens!
There are some basi c rul es:
• The most common bl i nd date greeti ngs are the peck on the
cheek and the handshake.
• H ugs are usual ly reserved for someone you have had quite a
deal of communication with and know quite well. A simple, "Hi,
lets meet. "Email i s usually not a huggable event. Still, some people
are just the 'huggy' kind.
• You can't go wrong with the handshake. I f they turn it i nto a
hug or kiss then well and good. It's the safest option.
ACING THE GREETING
The greeting can often make or break the date. You only get one
shot at the f i rst i mpressi on, so make it count.
The key to aci ng the greeti ng is to smile puts people at ease
and shows that you are friendly, and more importantly, not
disappointed in your date. Showing excitement is another key. If
you look and act excited, odds areit will rub off on theother person.
Whatever you do, resist the temptation to check them out from
head to toe, it makes most people feel uneasy.
DOING THE RUNNER
It's not uncommon for someone to turn up for an I nternet date,
hi de i n the bushes to scope out their potenti al date, take one I ook
and exit stage left. Obviously no one I ikes to be stood up, and this is
certainly considered a rude thing to do.
Everyone gets nervous with blind dating at some point, soifyou
feel the urge to back out, j ust let your date know before hand, they
will understand. Don't show up and then do a runner. If you goto
the trouble of showing up, then go through with it, you owe it to
yourself and the other person.
If the person you meet with doesn't quite fit your expectations,
do try and see the date out and see how it goes. You never know,
you mi ght be pi easantly surpri sed and end up meeti ng a great f ri end
or maybe more. Some of the best dates I have had from the I nternet
have been with people that I would never have pictured myself
meeting if I knew what they looked like. Give everyone a chance.
Safety for girls
Whi I e I nternet dati ng i s one of the safest ways of meeti ng peopl e i n
today's society, many women are naturally apprehensive when it
comes to meeti ng a bl i nd date. can never hurt to be over cauti ous,
and there are many safety precautions you can take to make you
feel more at ease.
Generally, just follow your instincts, use common sense and you'll
be fi ne I nternet dati ng i s fun and safe, rel ax and have a good ti me.
The Date
Onceyou'vedoneitonceyou will wonder what al I thefuss was about.
H ere are a few ti ps only for those that thi nk they need them:
Choosing a safe meeting place
Everyone knows that it's safer to meet a stranger in a public place.
The benef i ts are obvi ous. There are pi enty of peopl e around to hel p
you, and one simple shout of hel pis all it usually takes. People are
alsolesslikelytomakeasceneinapublicplace. Sometypical places
include restaurants, cafes and bars.
GET AND LEAVE DETAILS
I f you feel the need, by al I means ask the guy to send you proof of
who he is. For instance, ask him to scan in a copy of his driver's
license and email it to you. Any genuine guy that wants a date is not
goingtosayno. Leave thesedetai Is with someone, along with where
you are goi ng and what ti me you are expected back.
MEET, DON'T GET PICKED UP
The less personal details your date knows about you the safer you
will be. I f they don't know where you I ivethen they can't find you. If
they don't know your number then they can't harass you on the
phone. I f they offer to pi ck you up, then politely decl i ne and meet
them at the desti nati on . Thi s i s a popul ar opti on for most f emal es.
Contingency plans
You should not have to sit through the 'date from heir. If during
thedateyou find the other person unpleasant and/ or unbearable,
then by all means leave using whatever means possible. Preferably
by stealth, to avoid any confrontation.
If for instance you are at a restaurant, excuse yourself to the
bathroom and ask the waiter for the nearest discreet exit. Don't
j ust I eave them hangi ng though, ask the waiter to i nf orm them you
"had to go."
Getting a stand-In
Some people get so nervous at the prospect of meeting someone
that they actually get a friend to stand in for them. You can get
away with it if they haven't seen your photo, and if your friend is
roughly (or exactly?) what you had described yourself as.
Not much point doing thisthough, your date won't be impressed
and you risk losing an opportunity. Not to mention that your friend
and your date could hit it off instead!
Bringing a friend
M any women feel the need to bri ng a f ri end al ong on the date for
moral support and safety. If you choose this option then besureto
inform your date; don't just turn up friend in tow. The idea of a
date is for the two of you to get to know each other, not for your
date to get to know both you and your friend. This doesn't impress
most guys, so do it only if you have to.
The fake phone call
A great way to make you feel safe i s to get a f ri end to cal I you at a
predetermi ned ti me, say mi nutes i nto your expectant date. Thi s
way you will have a ready excuse (sick grandmother or whatever) if
you need to get out of there. Ensure that you have some form of
coded signalling phrases arranged with your friend so that it's not
obvious what is happening. For example: "Ok, yeah I 'II do that first
thing M onday," might indicatethat everything isfine, then you can
j ust say it was work cal I i ng you.
If you are getting along great with your date, then by all means
tell them all about the fake cal I and you can both have a great laugh
about it. Thi scan bean excellent icebreaker if things are going a bit
slowly.
General Dating Tips
H ere are some general dati ng ti ps that can make or break a bl i nd
date, or any date for that matter:
• Don't be I ate.
The Date
• Don't talk about ex-partners. Feel free to share and laugh about
I nternet dating stories to lighten the mood if you like, but don't
mention ex-boy/ girlfriends unless theother person brings it up. In
which case don't linger on it.
• Keep good eye contact.
• Smell good. This is absolutely essential, body odour will kill any
date within a m radius.
• Dress for success, be it a black-tie dinner, coffee, gym workout
or a bush walk. Don't save your best outfit for tomorrows date,
today's date coul d be the one.
• Dress to the occasion. A thousand dollar suit and tie is a little
over the top for the movies, and shorts and sandals don't cut it for
dinner.
• Fill up with petrol before you leave. You don't want to have to
stop to fill up when you arewith your date, it can ruin the mood. It
can al so make you I ate and I eave you smel I i ng I i ke a petrol pump.
• M ake sure your car and/ or apartment are clean inside and out if
yourdatewill seethem. Bonus points are on offer here, noonelikes
a slob.
• M akesureyou know how to get to the date venue and your dates
pi ace if needed, and know whereto park. Allow an extra minutes
for every minutes anticipated travel time. Being early is better
than bei ng late.
• M akesureyou have your date's mobile number if you have one,
and that they have yours.
• Carry plenty of cash.
• Do your homework. Read up on your date before you meet, and
by al I means take a copy of thei r prof i I e or emai I s i n your pocket for
a last minute read. This way, instead of talking about yourself or
being stuck talking about the weather you can ask more about
certain things that they have mentioned before. This always
i mpresses.
• End the date before they do. It can get awkward towards the
end, and your date might start getting nervous about what your
intentions are.
• Be polite and seethe date out with a smile, even if your date is
not what you expected. Although thetwoof you may not have hit it
off, they may have f ri ends who they can i ntroduce you to.
Guy Specific Tips:
• Getting a female opinion on clothes and cologne can be of great
benefit.
• By and large, most women are still impressed by a chivalrous
male.
• Don't talk about yourself unless she asks, women are not at all
impressed by guys that tal k endlessly about themselves.
• Don't try and impress her with a fancy car or flashing money
around. They rank very low on a woman's wish list.
• Be articulate and speak clearly.
• Get there before she does, and never keep a lady waiting.
• Always smile, girls like it, and it helps them to feel comfortable
with you.
• Whatever you do, resist the temptation to look at anything but
her face.
Girl specific tips:
• M ost guysfi nd bei ng 'fashi onably I ate' downri ght annoyi ng, even
if we do smile and say 'no problem'.
• Don't play 'hard to get', it puts the guy in two minds and makes
him go elsewhere. All but the most persistent and confident male
will give up long before a girl stops playing games.
• Ifyoulikeaguythenshowit. Don'tthrowyourselfat him (unless
you want to! ) but show i nterest by smi I i ng, f I i rti ng a bi t, or accepti ng
another date. It has to be obvious for him to get the point. Most
guys have no idea how to read women, and they don't even try.
• Let him be a gentleman, and give him ample time to offer to pay.
Some guys really like being chivalrous, it's not completely dead.
After Date Etiquette
Over the years, some basic after date etiquette rules have evolved.
They are general ly accepted, but are by no means defi nitive.
If You Didn't Like Them
Email provides an easy way to let the person know that you are not
interested. If you are not interested in seeing them again then it's
considered good etiquette to email them and say, "thanks but no
thanks." A simple, "It was nice to meet you, but I don't think we
are compatible. I wish you all the best," email takes no effort and
will not leave the other person hanging.
Remember that the other person may have I iked you, and might
be looking forward to hearing from you. It's impossible to gauge
what the other person thinks of you, so don't leave them hanging,
it's not nice.
You Liked Them and Want Another Date
If you liked the person then don't wait for them to contact you.
Contact them f i rst and I et them know you are i nterested and woul d
liketo see them again. Don't waste any time either, do it as soon as
possible. They could have another date lined up for tomorrow, or
even that very day, you should get the word i n fi rst to i mproveyour
chances.
They can only turn you down, and it's better to know than to be
left waiting for them to contact you. Girls, this means you too. If
you liketheguythentaketheinitiativeand let him know, he will be
flattered.
ASKING THEM OUT AGAIN BY EMAIL
Once you have met someone in real life, email instantly becomes a
bit impersonal for further communication. Obviously if email isthe
only contact details you have then that's your only choice. But if
you have their phone number then by all means use it.
Send an SMS message
Most people will have a mobile phone these days, and if you have
their number then an SM S message is a great way to thank them
for the date or to ask them out again. It's a hip thing to do, and it's
morepersonal than email. If you really want to surprise them, then
send an SM S message a few minutes after you have parted company.
They will be pleasantly surprised, and it will earn you big bonus
points.
I f you don't have a mobi I e phone yourself, then there are many
ways to send an SMS message vi a the Internet. ICQ has this facility,
and most mobi I e phone servi ce provi ders havethef aci I i ty avai I abl e.
Check out their websites or ask around the chat rooms or
newsgroups. Some services are completely free, others will charge
you a fee.
Phone
They would not have given you their number if they didn't want
youtouseit right? So if you haveit, givethemacall.
The phone is the most personal way of asking out someoneagain.
It does, however, have a couple of disadvantages. The first is that
they will not be expecting your call; this puts all the pressure on
them. I f they area 'phone' person then this isn't usually a problem,
they will love to get your call. But not all people are comfortable
talking on the phone, let alone talking about a second date. In this
instance, an SMS message or email will make it easier for them,
and give them time to respond.
Virtual flowers
Sending Virtual Flowers' or a greeting card is a novel (although
After Date Etiquette
someti mes overused) way of saying thanks and letting them know
that you I ike them.
There are many online greeting card and virtual flower site on
the I nternet, use them to your advantage.
Stay clear of the ones that generate an executable .EXE file,
which you then attach to an email. Many people are reluctant to
open email attachments for fear of virus infection, and rightly so.
Most greeting card sites today send an email message to the
recipient with a link that points to their greeting card online, these
are the best option.
You can get almost any kind of greeting card you can think of,
just makesureyou don't pick one that's too corny. Virtual hugs are
a good choice.
Another way to do this is to email them with your own poem or
whatever, and a picture attached. It's a good idea to search the
I nternet for a nice J PG photo of some roses, teddy or whatever,
and then save it locally so you can send it any time you need too.
Guys, take note.
What if You Don't Get a response?
I f you emai I them aski ng for another date and you don't hear back
from them, then it usually means that they are not interested. By
al I means, try emai I i ng agai n, or maybe sendi ng an SM S message.
But if you still don't hear back from them after that, let it be and get
back online to find another date.
The Probing Email
If you aren't the kind of person that likes to say things upfront,
then by all means try sending a 'probing' email to gauge their
interest. This involves sending a subtly worded emai I alongthelines
of, "It was nice to meet you, I hope we can do it again sometime."
I f they respond i n the affi rmati ve then it's a good i ndi cati on that
they are i nterested in a second date. But, of course, you will still
have to ask them out again, as it's unlikely that they will. The only
danger of this is that the other person can get the impression that
you are not interested, and that you are just too scared to turn
them down.
This is not the best after date etiquette, try and learn to be
upfront, you will get a much better response.
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